


5 Times Hux wondered if he had more than one cat

by The_Marron



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 5 Times, Crack, Humor, M/M, Pining Kylo, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6241948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Marron/pseuds/The_Marron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>... And one time he finally realized that yes, indeed. </p><p>Kylo Ren is acting like an overbearing cat, Millicent is not helpful and Hux is the Fucker in charge of all of these fuckers.</p><p>Still cannot write summaries, sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times Hux wondered if he had more than one cat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ascel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ascel/gifts).



> Apparently, headcanoning not exactly at home is not much better that headcanoning at home. 
> 
> I should invest in less creative friends. 
> 
> Happy name's day, Ascel, it's all your fault! (Again)

1.

This was getting ridiculous.

Hux understood that Kylo was not exactly on the payroll and had no substantial duties to perform while on the _Finalizer_ , except maybe providing the technicians with additional work repairing things he'd destroyed, but that was quite enough.

"Must you accompany me everywhere?" He finally asked, turning to face the wannabe Sith. Who looked in a completely different direction, as if he wasn't following Hux through all of his routine check-up of the ship. Not at all.

He was with him in the canteen, he trailed behind Hux on his visit to med bay, he hovered over him in the training sections, still refusing to actually talk and explain what the hell for. Hux waited for few seconds, hoping for some kind of answer, ignoring the stressed stormtroopers still standing in a row, waiting for him to pass.

Fine, if Ren was determined to stay in the sanitation wing, who was Hux to stop him? He gestured the men to get back to work and left the room.

Next stop on his way was the bridge.

Ren usually did not go there, unless he wanted to make another try to undermine Hux's authority in front of the crew, It wasn't effective, but sure, whatever floated Ren's boat.

After a wonderfully solitary walk, he entered his most valuable area and assumed his usual position, in front of the dura-steel, where he could look omniscient and omnipotent, as he should.

He managed not to wince when he heard the door swish open.

And if he spotted a tall black figure on his peripheral vision, no one had to know.

Back at his quarters, Millicent almost caused him to die of coronary attack when she pounced at him from the shadows of his bathroom.

Somehow, he wasn't even bothered.

2.

The Knights of Ren were to come on the ship. It wasn't usual for them to even deign Hux and his crew with their majestic and mystical presence, and therefore he had no protocol concerning their arrival and stay.

He really should have known better by now to just hand Ren the papers and plans and assume the Knight would do something constructive about them.

Still, when he entered Ren's room, ignoring Ren's outraged monologue about his privacy, and put the plans he so painstakingly ordered Mitaka to prepare, he had the illusion that he would get something done. How naive of him.

"What is this?" Ren asked, joining Hux by his desk. His tone was probably meant to be menacing. Well, he could try. Without modulator in his mask he sounded rather petulant, if Hux where to judge. And he was always ready to judge. One of the hobbies.

"Your Team Allstar is coming. I assume they are here for a reason, which I don't know of since I'm but a simple, normal person, and I figured you would be the one who would be able to oversee that everything is rea..." Hux didn't get to finish. Ren poked the papers with the handle of his lightsaber and they fell from the desk, scattering on the floor, as Ren watched with fascination.

Something threatened to burst inside Hux. Maybe it was the rage he was born with. Maybe it was his artery.

He had to count to ten not to murder Ren on sight. Oh, he would probably die trying, but what a way to go. At least he would die happy, having rescued the world from the disaster of Kylo Ren. He would be a hero. A martyr. A role-model to children out there. No. He had duties, he had things to do. People to kill, children to steal, a scheme to concoct.

Ren was not worth throwing away all of his plans.

As Hux left Ren's room in complete silence, the man was busy making the papers levitate in circles, still enthralled by their movement.

Maybe he finally went mad.

Hux made a mental note to send an assistant to motivate or at least be roped to work by Ren. Preferably one he didn't like. He should take victories where he could.

That night Millicent decided to practice her acrobatics on his bathroom shelf. He had to get up at night to put all of the bottles in correct order.

Frankly, it was so mild after this day that he didn't even had the heart to scold her.

3.

Dinner in officer's mess was one of the most pleasurable things Hux experienced on the _Finalizer_. He could sit with Phasma, observe his underlings, hate on some of the too ambitious colonels as he pleased, and be generally free of the burden of dealing with Kylo Ren.

He could enjoy the mediocre... whatever the cook served at the moment and pretend he had any kind of social life, for the first time since he was seven. 

So obviously, it was a matter of time before Kylo Ren decided to ruin that for him as well. 

"What a pleasant surprise to see you here, Lord Ren." Phasma greeted, while Hux limited himself only to a nod of acknowledgement in Ren's direction. He wouldn't exactly call it pleasant, but it was definitely a surprise to see Ren fraternizing with them, mere mortals. Usually, like a diva he was, he ate in his room alone, contemplating the meaning of life and death. Or so Hux assumed.

Even his Knights, who miraculously were accommodated (Hux attributed that fact to Mitaka) and seemingly contented with their stay at Finalizer, sometimes joined the officers for the meals. Their Master however preferred to indulge in his self-appointed solitude and general martyrdom.

"Even greater surprise is that you are not sharing the table with your minions." He said, diverting his attention back to his dinner.

"They can survive without me." Ren replied and took off his mask. Because he couldn't come mask-less in the first place. For reasons. Reasons definitely far beyond Hux's comprehension. Right. 

Instead of swimming in his sea of bitterness and resentment, Hux chose to sustain the conversation. He was after all a polite person. Unlike some. 

"You don't have a plate, sir." Phasma observed." Shall I fetch you one?"

"No need." And there it was, the 'martyr-tone'. The 'I'm-suffering-and-you-can-never-grasp-how-much tone. It was very successful during interrogations. If violence didn't help, Ren could just cry over the prisoners, sharing his internal angst and eternal martyrdom for the cause of the Dark Side. Sprinkle that with daddy issues, granddaddy issues and some crooked perfectionism and you've got the deathly monologue. Everyone broke after that. Everyone.

"I was taught that every living being has to eat at some point..." Hux looked back at his plate.

There was something terribly wrong with it, though he could not understand what.

He stared some more.

Then it came to him.

He was sure he had still six reddish, plum-shaped vegetables which name he couldn't remember, when he had last lifted his fork. Now there were five.

Could he forget eating them? Was he so distracted? Impossible.

He turned to Phasma, searching for an explanation. Ren was still silent and broody, probably coming up with reason why not eating was beneficial to the Dark Side. Her amused smile told him nothing, except that a) she knew, b) it filled her with joy and therefore c) he probably didn't want to know.

"What's the name of these things?" He asked, gesturing to his remaining vegetables. He could retain his cool attitude, he was an adult. At least the amount of meat and pasta was unchanged.

"Rodkieves, I think." Phasma answered and snickered in his direction. For a moment he couldn't figure out what amused her so. Then he looked at his plate once again. His pasta was noticeably decimated. As for rodkieves, or whatever they were, there were three left. Either he was going mad or... He turned to Ren.

Who was looking at him with innocent interest.

"Something the matter?" He asked and Hux was overcame once again with the need to strangle the man. No matter how big and pretty his brown eyes were.

"My food is disappearing." That earned him a pitying glance from Kylo freaking Ren, a man who talked to his dead grandfather at night. Hux knew, Hux had cameras in every room.

"That is the mechanics of eating, I'm afraid." Ren grinned,his teeth visible to everyone at their table.

Phasma was laughing now, any pretences of seriousness gone. Hux stood up.

"Your condescending tone would be far more effective if the remains of my dinner were not sticking out of your teeth, Lord Ren." He gritted out and left the room with a final glare at the man.

Phasma didn't stop laughing.

When he came back to his quarters, Millicent stole his sandwich when he wasn't looking.

Hux was surrounded by assholes.

And was apparently going to starve because of that.

4.

"What the hell is that?!" Hux, being a reasonable human being knew, that demanding an answer from the cat was doomed to fail. Still, he had no better idea as to how exactly he was supposed to react when presented with two bloodied, barely alive... somethings.

Upon further inspection he assumed that they were parasites that somehow got into the engines and tried to make a living there. How Millicent found them, and why did she decide to bring them to Hux, he had no idea.

"What am I supposed to do with them?" Millicent just meowed and Hux didn't have to be a cat to understand her self-appreciation. He sighed with defeat.

"I assume I should be touched." Instead of answer he got a cat on his lap. Perfect.

"I should really get rid of them. The crew will think I'm into some kind of cult." He informed his cat, ignoring a voice in his head, sounding like his father, that told him that talking to animals was pointless, sentimental, and plainly dumb, like Hux himself. Ok, maybe that was his brother? Doesn't matter. He had to get rid of the carcasses.

He stood up, not minding Millicent's offended hissing, and went to the door.

"I don't know, should I treat them as courting gifts? Is it this time of year?" He asked, turning to the cat as the door opened. " Because they are somehow effective, I'm almost moved." And then Hux turned his head to the corridor and came face to face with Kylo Ren.

The first reflex, to just wave a hand and say 'You've seen nothing' was ignored. He was not a Jedi. Also, it would be stupid.

But maybe it would take Ren's attention from the fact that general Hux of the First Order was talking to his (illegally kept ) cat. Fortunately, Ren simply stared for a while in silence, and went away, sparing Hux the need to somehow comment on the happenings. No one would believe Ren if he said that. No one. Besides, who would even want to talk to him?

... 

Hux, that's who. But that was beside the point.

He picked up the two creatures and took them inside allowing them to become one with the rest of his garbage. 

Thankfully, Millicent was busy rolling on Hux's bed, and didn't notice the way he treated her gifts.

Soon, the whole event disappeared from Hux's mind.

Once again, how naive of him.

* 

The first thing he noticed when he opened his door was that it was far too loud at this hour.

The second thing his brain found interesting was that there were two people in Resistance's gear laying on his doorstep. They were breathing hard, as if they were clinging to life by the sheer power of will and their faces were wearing signs of very throughout abuse.

The third thing that caught his eye was Kylo Ren, looming in the corridor behind the two bodies. Hux looked at him. Ren ,without his mask, which was surprising in itself, returned his gaze.

Hux stared at him some more.

One of the prisoners moaned in pain.

"Ren." That was a good start. It came flat enough, it did not betray the overcoming need to kill either Ren or himself. Maybe both. Oh, gods, he was not getting paid enough. Hell, the shit he was dealing with, he should be granted the title of an Emperor by Snoke himself, with long speech of his exceptional patience and endurance. "What is this?"

"Resistance soldiers." Hux blinked. " After interrogation." Ren added hastily, as if Hux lived only for interrogations. Maybe a little.

"Great. And what are they doing in front of my quarters?" Ren seemed to be very interested in the left side of the corridor, his eyes focused on not looking at Hux. 

This time, he was going to be unmoved. He was going to get some answers. So he stared some more, ignoring another moan of pain from the captured rebels at his feet.

Ren had quite a nice profile, now that Hux thought of it. In fact, all of Ren looked nice until he opened his mouth to talk. Or moved his body to destroy something in one of his fits of anger. Or...

So, Ren looked nice as long as his personality wasn't present. Hux could live with that. Mostly because Ren's personality was always obviously present.

Except now. Now, the man looked embarrassed, maybe uncertain. Hux was never particularly good at dealing with other people's emotions unless they were profitable for him. Still, he waited.

"You can finish them off yourself?" Ren finally offered, his tone almost meek.

"Oh, for gods' sake, that is awful.", muttered one of the prisoners. 

"Just kill us already." added the other one. 

And for the first time in his life, Hux exchanged an understanding nod with a member of resistance. 

The shit Kylo Ren put him through... 

5\. 

The Knights of Ren's time on the _Finalizer_ came to an end. Hux wasn't exactly sad to see them go, but they were not as much of a nuisance as he thought they would be. 

True, they were slightly more aggressive and violent for his liking, with illusions of grandeur and strange respect for their Master, but they at least had some manners. And Hux could appreciate manners. So even though it was never done before, he personally assured there was a proper farewell organized, with military parade and all. Supreme Leader Snoke would be pleased to know that Hux was perfectly willing to cooperate with the Knights. As long as they change their leader, that is.

"We are very grateful to you, general, for your help in completing our mission." Said one of them and Hux was actually embarrassed that he couldn't remember his name. Zayo Ren? Maybe.

Truth be told, he had no idea what their mission was. Once in a while Kylo Ren would request the _Finalizer_ to go one secluded planet or the other, the Knights would take shuttles to go there and that was all of Hux's involvement in their mission.

"Glad I could help. We will always welcome you back on the deck." He replied, out of courtesy, rather than true fondness.

"We heard stories of you, General..." _From their Master, without a doubt_."... and they do not do you justice."

"Oh?" He inquired, betraying polite interest.

"You are far more wise and competent that we were led to believe. No wonder the Supreme Leader holds you in such high regard." Zayo Ren, or whatever was his name continued, his tone no longer formal.

"You flatter me." He rather felt than heard Kylo Ren suddenly appearing behind him. The man was freakishly quiet when he wanted to, but months of his following Hux around the ship made Hux hyper-aware of his presence. The Knight seemed oblivious though, now concerned with looking deep into Hux's eyes, as if he was trying to be meaningful, or even worse, deep. No wonder Kylo Ren felt at home with this band, really.

"This is not flattery if every word is true. I hope..." But Hux would never know what Zayo Ren (that's it, Hux was naming him that) hoped for, because the man finally noticed the presence of his Master.

"I..." 

"...Am ready to go, aren't you?" Ren supplied in a falsely calm tone." After all, the Supreme Leader waits for no one. And he is eager to read my report, I am sure that your personal progress will interest him greatly..." With a shaky nod to Hux, Zayo Ren was gone.

For a moment, they observed in silence as Zayo gathered the rest of the Knights and herded them into shuttle. 

"You never write reports." Hux observed.

Even though Ren had his mask on, Hux was positive the man was looking at him now, his eyes deep and meaningful as well. ... He was developing an unhealthy obsession with Ren's eyes. 

"For this I just might." _For one Zayo Ren...?What did he..._

"That's not his name. Don't name him." Ren rumbled, his voice, normally low, now even lower. Someone has been practicing his Final Battle Voice, apparently.

Hux could just imagine it. 'Well, well, well, I've been waiting for you...' in this low voice, with this flat, Corellian accent, in the dark room and... 

And he was really going mad.

Now he had a thing for Ren's voice too.

"Get out of my head." He demanded quickly, hoping that at least this part of his thoughts was shielded from the infuriating Knight. " And why shouldn't I name him?" 

"You will get attached." 

"I have a name for you and you never complained." Instead of an answer, Hux got something he would never anticipate.

Ren hugged him.

Or rather, crushed him into his chest, forgetting about thousands of people still present in the hangar. 

"I know" Ren whispered in Hux's ear and left, leaving him stupefied.

_What just happened?_

This evening, when he finally got to his room, Hux was welcomed by Millicent rubbing at his legs. 

At least someone was happy to see him and not confuse him by their mere existence.

He took off his coat and tossed it on the bed.

Something was wrong with the collar, now that he had a clear view of it. He came closer, careful not to step on Millicent.

Hair.

Black, long hair were clinging to his coat. 

_ Ren. _

Nope. Hux was out of fucks to give. He used up all his limit of thoughts about Kylo Ren, of fretting about Kylo Ren, and of analyzing Kylo Ren's behaviour.

No. He was going to take a shower and very pointedly not think about Kylo Ren while doing so. And tomorrow, he was going to clean his uniform so that no one will ever know.

When he came back from shower, a towel around his hips, he was welcomed by a sight of Millicent rolling in delight on his coat. Now, instead of black hair on a collar he had black hair on the collar and red hair everywhere else.

"You know what?" He asked Millicent, who now was sitting in the middle of his coat, looking at him innocently." I don't even care. I don't know what you and Ren are playing at, but I'm done. And I'm disappointed in you." He informed the cat." You should pick your alliances better. Traitor." With that, he relegated Millicent to sleep on the floor. She could take the coat with her if she liked. 

Hux was done.

He visualized waving his last fuck goodbye and wishing it a safe journey, knowing it would never return.

He was really going mad.

+1

Considering recent events it shouldn't even surprise Hux that he was somehow lying in his own bed with his coat utterly ruined, with marks on his throat and with a very naked, very satisfied Kylo Ren draped around his frame.

Hux was anything but oblivious, so this recent development in his and Ren's relationship he accepted with grace and just a little bit of defeat. 

He knew he was lost the moment he started paying attention to Ren's physique. Worse, he was lost the moment he started paying any attention to Ren at all. So really, he couldn't say he didn't see that one coming.

Millicent purring next to Kylo's face, that was a surprise.

Millicent didn't like people.

Oh, she liked Hux because he fed her, so she didn't have much of a choice, it was like Stockholm Syndrome, she even liked Hux's mother on her better days. She tolerated Mitaka, mostly because he was easy to bully for more food.

And now, she liked Kylo Ren and Hux could not understand why. 

Then, he remembered the rebels outside the door. Looking at the event now, he could see how this somehow translated in Ren's mind to be an appropriate courting gift. Ren was still strange after all. He still liked to steal Hux's food, but at least he stopped being too obnoxious about it in public. And after a long talk, he stopped leaving his hair on Hux's clothes. Furniture was a fair trade though. Trailing behind Hux whenever he had nothing better to do was incurable and Hux knew by now how to pick his battles.

Then, it finally struck him why he had such high tolerance for the eerie way of Kylo Ren. Why he was not surprised nor bothered enough anything Kylo Ren did.

He looked at Ren and Millicent, both appropriating Hux's bed and pillows, demanding his time, scaring other people away and being insufferable most of the time.

Oh gods, he had two cats.

He was a First Order General who was going to be remembered by history as a man who never married, but at least had two cats. He was going to be a role-model for every spinster in the Galaxy.

Before he could break into insane laughter, Ren forced him to lie still, his arms tightening around Hux.

Moments later a soft purring entered Hux's mind and he was too sleepy to decide who exactly was purring.

In the long run, it didn't matter.

At least he was warm, comfortable and... And he had two obnoxious cats.

Fuck his life, really. 

Thankfully, the last fuck still hasn't returned.


End file.
